The Perfect Evangelist's Wife

Years ago, when I went off to college, I knew that I wanted to serve God with my life.  I wasn't sure in what area I would one day serve, but I was open to whatever He had for me.  It was in college that I met the man who would one day become my husband.  He was focused on one thing: evangelism.  As our college years passed, I saw God opening doors for him in many areas, but they all confirmed the direction he was already heading.  As our relationship grew, I began to consider whether or not I had what it took to be the wife of an evangelist.  I mean, really - all that traveling, staying in a different place all the time, living life on the road?  From all accounts, it was not an easy life at all, and I wondered, was I really capable of handling such a life?  God, in His own way, and in His time, eventually led me to the place that I knew that whatever this adventure would entail, 

it was what He had chosen for me.

I began to observe other evangelist's wives.  These resilient women seemed to have it all together - all the time!  In my mind, I began compiling a list of all that I needed to be in order to be the perfect evangelist's wife.  The list went something like this:

1. She always looks as if she just stepped out of a magazine.
2. Her house/trailer (which is also magazine worthy) is spotless and ready for company at any time.
3. She is able to hold lengthy and knowledgable conversations on any subject with anyone, even if they only give monosyllable answers, and never says too much or the wrong thing.
4. She never raises her voice to her children (or husband) even after 37 straight hours in the vehicle. 
5. She sews all of her families adorable matching outfits, and her children never look as if they were in a fight as they walk through the doors of the church.
6. She home schools her children in the mornings (they are always done by lunchtime) and participates tirelessly in the evening services by helping with music and teaching children's meetings.
7. She can manage her entire household on a budget of $50 a week, even with half a dozen kids, because she clips coupons and shops sales.  
8. She can play the piano and sing like and angel, and all her children are accomplished as well, since she spends time teaching them every day.
9. The meals she fixes are culinary masterpieces, and always healthy for the whole family.
10. Bible study and prayer are accomplished early in the morning, while the children are still asleep.
11. She literally can do anything, including speak in front of large groups without fainting, crying, or succumbing to fits of nervous laughter.

The list was much longer than that, but you get the idea.  I think at some point, she could even fly, but I digress.  

The point is, we all have expectations of what we think an evangelist's wife should be.  I would be willing to say that most of our expectations for ourselves are so far from reality that we are actually embarrassed by our seeming lack of conformity to the high standards we have placed upon our own selves.  

The most fundamental advice I can ever give is this:

Be yourself.

God knew you and your capabilities when He chose you to be your husband's helpmeet.  Your husband did not choose you because of your ability to sew, sing, play, cook, teach, or even fly!  He chose you because he wanted your companionship. The qualities he saw in you led him to believe that you were fully equipped for whatever path God chose for the two of you.  

I am not saying that these other qualities and abilities are unimportant, but they are not the most important.  God has given each of us gifts in different areas.  How we develop and use those gifts is our responsibility, but He does not expect you to burn out trying to be someone else!  So today, let go of those unrealistic expectations you have for yourself, and allow God to use you just as you are.  Spend time being, not just doing.  I am not saying that having a clean house and a balanced budget should fall by the wayside.  However, if your house is a bit dusty and maybe even messy, don't feel as if you are a total failure.  If you feed your kids McDonalds or frozen pizza, don't worry - they will not be ruined for life.  

Take time to deepen your relationship with God and allow Him to help you grow into the person He wants you to be.  By being the person God wants you to be, you will be able to be the helpmeet and partner in ministry that your husband needs.  That is the definition of the perfect evangelist's wife!

What Is an Evangelist?

Many times, when people ask what my husband does, I answer, "He's an evangelist."  The responses I get range from blank stares to puzzled frowns.  Sometimes, I even get a fake smile, with an "Oh, really?" that tells me they have no idea what an evangelist is.  When confronted with these confused responses, I usually clarify my answer with, "He's a traveling preacher."

I must say that this answer is somewhat unsatisfactory to me, but for the uninitiated, it is the most easily understood.  An evangelist is so much more than a man who travels and preaches.  The evangelist is a gift to the church just as the pastor is, but with a completely different role.  The evangelist is not just a missionary, a soul-winner, a church-planter, or a pastor who decides he wants to travel the country and preach.  The evangelist is a God-called preacher whose calling is to minister to churches in confrontational preaching, in both calling the unsaved to salvation and exhorting and encouraging God's people.  The gift and purpose of the evangelist is listed in Ephesians 4:11-16, and is he is given to the church "for the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ:"

Sometimes I think of the evangelist as Aaron and Hur, holding up the arms of Moses during battle.  Without their help and support, Moses could not have led the Israelites to victory.  Were Aaron and Hur in the same position of leadership?  No, but they stood alongside the man of God and and did all they could to help him accomplish what God had told him to do.

Now, I suppose that some people might take issue with what I have written here, for many different reasons - improper teaching on the evangelist, bad experiences in the past, etc., but you cannot logically deny the Biblical gift of the evangelist.  Acts 8 chronicles part of the journey of Philip, the evangelist.  He was preaching in Samaria when God called him to go into the desert, where he met the Ethiopian eunuch and led him to Christ.  After he left the rejoicing eunuch, he went to Azotus, "and passing through he preached in all the cities, till he came to Caesarea."  Philip's calling was to preach where God led him.

The purpose of this blog is not to define and argue the doctrine of the evangelist.  In fact, it is not really about the evangelist at all, except that this blog is designed with helping the women who are married to these special men of God.  The only reason that we are dealing with the subject of the evangelist first is because of the role that this gift has in each of our lives.  As the helpmeet of an evangelist, we also have a niche to fill.  Our lives are not the normal, run of the mill, predictable lives.  Our lives have special challenges, trials, and blessings that are unique to our ministry.

My goal is provide a way for those of us in evangelism to give and receive encouragement, gather helpful advice on numerous subjects (think home schooling, potty training, entertaining your children for long hours on the road, finances, children's meetings, etc), and to familiarize ourselves with each other and the ministries of which we are a part.  This is meant to be a tool for ministry, filled with practical tips, help, and advice.  I will be gleaning information from those of you that I know, and possibly asking you to write a post for the blog in a particular area of expertise. This blog is not about me and my opinions, although I am hosting it.  It is about all of us - the ministry we have in common, and using this outlet to provide much-needed experience and support for others as we serve the Lord together.

If you have any questions or comments, or have a topic that you would like to see addressed in a future post, please contact me.  You can learn more about our ministry by visiting our website www.paulcrow.org.